This, for instance, counts as “something.”
I realize that it’s probably not what you want. You’re more than likely looking for something funny or poetic or thought provoking, but you’re getting this, but if it’s any consolation I have a good reason for it. I’m working on an epic list article and I don’t think I’m going to get it finished today. I’m honestly bummed about that because I’m really hoping you find it as funny as I do.
I’ll give you some fair warning in advance, it’s pretty absurd. I’ve been a fan of absurdist humor for years, going back to when I first discovered “Weird Al” Yankovic’s epic rocker “Stuck In a Closet with Vanna White”, and that fascination only grew as I was exposed to more and more of it throughout the years. I tend to hate my own, but that’s probably because I’m hypercritical of my own work.
Nevertheless, absurdity comes fairly easy to me in writing because I have this disturbing ability to switch over to weird and random at the drop of a hat, an ability which I think is a side effect of my driving obsession with analytical thinking. There’s a garbage tank somewhere in my brain where I dump all the oddities, and when I open up that valve everything I haven’t been able to wrap my head around comes shooting out like a geyser.
It even seeps into my dreams, to the point where I don’t even try to figure out what they mean anymore, I just roll with them. Oh, I was rollerskating with zebras at the North Pole? Yeah, that one’s recurring, go ahead and put another check next to it in the dream journal.
While it does come easy to me, I know it’s not for everyone. Still I’m doing for a few very particular reasons…
- It’s good practice. Occasionally I need to write something that’s easy for me so I don’t start feeling discouraged. If the worst part about editing is fixing a few spelling and grammatical errors, I tend to come out feeling more eager to work on the next item (which is in this case, a heavily detailed science fiction novel.)
- To get it out of my system. Like I said, I need to have an outlet for the weirdness every once in a while or I start to get a little loopy. It’s as much, if not more for me than for everyone else. That being said, I usually hate this stuff a few days after I’m done with it and try to pretend like it never happened. In that way it’s a lot like internet porn, I guess. Maybe forget I said the internet porn thing.
- I’d like to have at least one solid, definitive body of absurdist work in one place. Usually when I do this, I start off with great ideas and then I just sort of give up halfway through and rely on completely random garbage to fill out the spaces. This time I’m going to write it with more care, and then go over it with a fine-toothed comb until I consider it the best piece of this type I’ve ever done (which is pretty impossible to gauge.) It’s not going to be ridiculously long, but it will be long enough to make it worth reading, and hopefully funny and interesting enough to make you keep reading it.
- I’ve built it up way too much now to fail. Seriously, this was just supposed to be a quick announcement, but it’s already way longer than what I’ve got written for the piece so far. (That’s actually not true, I just double checked and I’ve written almost twice the length of this article and am only about 1/5th of the way through.)
With all that in mind, I’m hoping this will be enough to fulfill my daily posting promise as I work to complete this “masterpiece.” I hope it’s as good as I’m making it out to be because I’ve literally stopped all work on a legit writing project to complete it more quickly.
As a bonus for your patience, later today I’m also going to release a prompt I wrote for a writers group last year that was well received when I put it out there. If you don’t mind, let me know what you think in the comments when I put it out.
Thanks again for your continued support,